A Survivor's Guide To Traffic Dodging

Entry 4: Heading up the coast to Galway

2011-10-25T20:03:00.000-04:00

We left Dingle on a particularly foggy morning and drove north through Tralee and caught the ferry from Trabert across the mouth of the Shannon River. From Trabert, we drove along the west coast, stopping in Lehinch for lunch.

This little beach town seemed like a good place to spend a little bit more time. It had some of the same, laid back beach feel of Long Beach or some similar Pacific Coast town, except with Gaelic signs and a lot more pubs. I had fish and chips with a local fish out of the Irish Sea--Hake.

Our next stop was supposed to be the Cliffs of Moher, one of the most famous sights on the island. The fog had other plans. After driving through several places that sounded like stops in Tolkien's Middle Earth, we began winding uphill toward the cliffs. The fog got thicker and thicker. By the time we reached the park's ticket gate and parking lot, visibility was less than 50 yards. At what I am told is the edge of the Cliffs, we couldn't even see the edge. The postcards in the gift shop were pretty....

After giving up on the Cliffs, we meandered our way through the Burren...

stopped at Dunguaire Castle...

then drove through Galway to check in at our B&B in Salthills.

Entry 3: Connor Pass and Dingle's Food & Wine Festival

2011-10-18T19:49:00.000-04:00

Our second day in Dingle was divided between two distinct activities. The first was a drive to the top of Connor Pass. The first 75% of the drive was calm and peaceful, the last 25% was a bit hair raising--single lane, sharp turns, and a cliff edge. I drove there and Isaac drove back. I'm still not sure if it was scarier as the passenger or the driver. Thankfully, the trip was worth it. The view from the scenic pull-off was quite nice, but the real treat was the perfectly calm lake we happened upon above the lookout. I'll let the pictures speak for themselves.

We spent the second half of the day at Dingle's Food a Wine Festival. I love festivals so it was a welcome surprise to see the signs around town when we arrived on Thursday. The concept was simple. Purchase a passbook with twenty tickets and then use the guide map restaurant descriptions to decide where to use them. Here's a list of what we ate:

The Little Cheese Shop: Ras
Paul Geaney's: Gourmet burger
The Dingle Pub: Steamed mussels with wine, garlic and cream
Happy Garden Place: Soup and a spring roll
Finn McCool's Surf Shop: Aussie BBQ (Kangaroo)
O'Cathain's Fish Shop: BBQ'd prawns and scallops
Chowder Cafe: Seafood chowder and pan fried mackerel on a warm potato salad
Waterside Restaurant: Suckling Pig
Fish at the Marina: Teriyaki salmon skewers and warm sake shot
Novecento Gourmet Shop: Pizza
Adn Danlann Gallery: Fudge
Courtney's Bakery: Confectioneries
Isaac enjoying suckling pig (note the pig in the background)


Melted Raclette cheese, crunchy skin and all!

The melt above was created with the contraption in the middle of this picture. The cheese is placed under the horizontal metal bar that melts the top layer with a propane flame. The melted cheese is then scraped onto a piece of bread. Yum!

Entry 2: Touring the Dingle Peninsula

2011-10-16T00:50:00.001-04:00

Friday, September 30th

Having paid for breakfast as part of the B&B price really helped me get up in the morning--that, and serious jet lag confusion. Bacon in Ireland is a lot thicker, saltier, and tastier than generic American bacon. It's more like 1/8" thick slabs of ham...

Downtown Dingle

Dingle Farmer's Market provided bread, scones, and a locally made cream cheese for lunch. We then set out on "The Dingle Loop", as recommended by our travel guru, Rick Steves. (It felt really weird to keep mentioning what "Rick recommends..." the whole trip, so we alternatively referred to him as "Mr. Steves", "Steve-O", "Señor Steve", etc.) Being our first day in country, we did make on rookie mistake, and paid for admission to the "Famine Cottage". The road signs looked so official that I didn't think to ask "What would Rick do?" and check his book for guidance. Instead, we paid a lot for a moderately informative but poorly maintained private site. For example, check out my Facebook photos for an "informative" sign about a random pet deer. What is s/he doing next to a famine cottage in Dingle? I don't know, 'cause the writing faded off this sign in the 90s! (I tried to post the photo here, but Andrea said to keep my dumb deer photo off the blog.)

View from Slí Cheann Sléibhe

After our detour at the famine cottage, touring the Dingle Peninsula is amazing! The views are stunning. This stark landscape of steep mountainside farms and grass-covered cliffs is surrounded on three sides by the Atlantic Ocean. If trapped at home, you can use your local library or Netflix account to get peeks at Dingle in a bunch of Hollywood movies. Ryan's Daughter is the big classic. In the opening scenes of Far and Away, a youngish Tom Cruise fights with his brothers on a Dingle hillside.

Coumeenoole Beach

I had my first Irish coffee at Tig Slea Head on a cliff overlooking Coumeenoole Beach.

We stopped at one of the older sites on the island--the Gallarus Oratory. It's name, in Irish, means "The Church of the Place of the Foreigners", its built only of stone, and it's thought to date back to sometime between 600-900AD. There were no pews, no art, and I'm guessing the builders of this church would have considered an ideal attendance to be in the range of 8-10 people.

*Not Grass*

While trekking through some sort of unnamed bog on the peninsula, I sat on what looked like lush green grass only to find out that there is apparently some sort of Irish cactus. I have recovered.

For dinner, we took advantage of the "early dinner" (read: jet lagged tourist) menu at The Chart House in downtown Dingle. It was very nice, and neither of us fell asleep in our food. In fact, we even managed to go back to Murphy's Pub to listen to live Irish music.

Trip Journal Entry 1: Getting to Ireland

2011-10-14T19:09:00.007-04:00

Wednesday, September 28th

9AM: At work, working hard so that I can take a half-day on Thursday.

12PM: Compulsively checking the flight status. Our cheap standby seats are looking iffy, as the number of empty seats dwindles.

2:30PM: No seats! I call Mom, then Isaac.

2:55PM: We decide that the only two options are flying out at 5:30pm or waiting several days (and having a much shorter vacation).

5:00PM: We get to the airport--mostly packed (I still can't figure out where my Sonicare ended up).

5:30PM: We're off!

Thursday, September 29th

10:30AM: We arrive in Dublin, sort of refreshed. Being early, we had no car or room reservations, so we stood around in the airport making use of free wifi to book both.

1:00PM-5:00PM: En route to Dingle. Isaac did a great job driving on the left side of the road, but the roads got narrower and narrower the further we got from Dublin. I think I probably said "that wall is realllly close" at least four times... and then I started closing my eyes.

7:00PM: Dinner in Murphy's Pub in Dingle. Our first pints of Guinness.

Our Trip to Ireland

2011-10-10T19:25:00.004-04:00

Isaac and I just returned from a fantastic twelve day trek around Ireland. We hope to post pictures and notes about the places we stayed and the things we saw over the next week. For the moment, we thought a map would be a good place to start.

View Larger Map

Zachary Conver

2011-06-01T14:41:00.000-04:00

Zachary Conver was born before 10AM EST today. As expected, his lungs were insufficiently developed to support him and he eventually passed at around 11:20AM. In the meantime, he stayed in our room, where we held him and kept him company.

Zachary is the common English form of a Hebrew name, Zechariah, which means "the Lord remembers." Among other famous men named Zachary, Zachary Macaulay was an 18th century abolitionist.

We hope to be discharged this afternoon.

Wednesday morning

2011-06-01T08:44:00.002-04:00

Apparently, A fully dilated sometime in the night. Her water has not broken.

Tuesday night update

2011-05-31T21:06:00.000-04:00

We are still in the "no-visitors" labor & delivery ward, but we've moved rooms this afternoon--to a room at the end of the hall that is MUCH quieter. Hopefully we will both get some sleep tonight.

We haven't seen any real improvements today even after being put on absolute bed rest and having her meds bumped back up. A still had noticeable contractions throughout the day. The ultrasound shows the baby is still looking good and there is still plenty of amniotic fluid, but A is still dilated.

A nurse stopped by today to check in, and mentioned that she had similar circumstances 19 years ago, and her daughter is happy and healthy now. While this woman's experience is a rare exception in the statistics, this provided some encouragement.

Tuesday morning update (still in hospital)

2011-05-31T11:21:00.000-04:00

We're still in the hospital, now on total/complete bed rest. This room is directly across from the stock room, so it was quite noisy all night. Neither of us slept very well. Hopefully A will get some sleep this afternoon. I am far too anxious and wired to hope that I will nap.

I am not going to go into more graphic detail, but medically, A's situation has worsened enough since this weekend that it is unlikely she will be leaving the hospital anytime soon, unless under very bad circumstances. The past few 12 hours haven't seen a dramatic negative progression, but it feels like every time I say that things seem stable, they take a turn for the worst. I don't believe in jinxes or bad luck, but it's hard not to grasp at straws when in this kind of stressful situation.

I lost count of how many tries there were before nurses obtained a successful IV this morning. We were talking about how demoralizing the past few days have been for A.

It's not a totally accurate parallel, but I was reminded of a scene from the movie "Office Space", where the main character tells his therapist how everyday in his current situation seems to be the worst day of his life (link). I think A feels a little bit like this right now.

I have never been very good at rating situations (giving a "top 3 favorite" or "least favorite" list, for example), but I don't think I am quite as discouraged as A at the moment. Of course, my body isn't the saboteur at the moment, unlike last year....

I'm still hoping that she gets some rest and some encouraging news in the next few hours--such as a stop to contractions or cramping. That would be a positive turn.

Back in the hospital (additional thought)

2011-05-31T01:20:00.000-04:00

I should also have said that the doctors on call gave an incredibly discouraging assessment--basically no hope. I am hoping we can see the perinatologists or A's primary OB first thing in the morning... This is all very discouraging.

Back in the hospital

2011-05-30T21:11:00.000-04:00

Things seemed fine most of today, but we're back in the hospital again. Andrea is very dilated, so it seems like we will need a miracle to keep her water from breaking and this little boy carried to term.

A Calm 24 Hours

2011-05-29T15:24:00.002-04:00

We're happy to have very little to report over the past 24 hours. I did have a handful of contractions after getting home from the hospital on Friday, thankfully, I've only had one or two since then.

We were pleasantly surprised by both Delta and United Airlines yesterday. I had to call both airlines because we were supposed to travel to a close friend's wedding next week. Obviously, I am not allowed to travel. I was prepared to say goodbye to the cash for both flights, so I was quite pleasantly surprised when both airlines offered me a credit equal to the cost of the flights. I didn't even have to beg and plead.

As far as my work is concerned, I have tentative approval to work from home. I'm still not sure how feasible it will be long-term for logistical reasons, but my plan is to be as productive as possible so that my bosses don't feel inconvenienced enough to hire a temp.

We also want to express our gratitude to those of you who have supported us through prayer, emails, phone calls, and food deliveries. It made a really terrible week much more bearable.

We're Home!

2011-05-27T14:00:00.002-04:00

I was discharged earlier this morning and am now getting settled in at home. Really, I's getting settled in, I marched directly to the couch (after changing into a more comfortable set of clothes-I am not going to miss those nasty hospital gowns).

I've been told to stay on bedrest, but the doctor's were unable to give us a clear definition of what that means. I am not allowed to go to work, but I shouldn't worry about stairs, I don't need a wheel chair if I want to go out, but I shouldn't go grocery shopping...some of those things seem to conflict. Either way the plan is to take it very easy this weekend and then tweak things depending on the results of my next doctor's appointment on Tuesday.

Friday Morning Update

2011-05-27T09:59:00.000-04:00

It's Friday morning and we're still waiting to see if A will be discharged. A's primary doctor doesn't usually make her rounds over here in the hospital until early afternoon, I think, so there is probably several more hours to fill, at the minimum.

A has had a couple contractions in the past 24 hours, which is not ideal but the contractions are apparently unremarkable and potentially just a side effect of A's body acclimating itself to the pessary. Two of the three were just as a doctor showed up to check in on A. One of the Maternal-Fetal Medicine Fellows just stopped by and confirmed that A's latest symptoms are not signs for worry.

I feel a little more comfortable leaving A's hospital room at this point, so I went for a quick walk to drop off her prescription at the pharmacy. I also stopped by to see if I was eligible to give blood. Besides being a good deed, the hospital is offering movie passes to donors. I won't be going to the movies with anyone anytime soon, but it seemed like a good thing for passing on to friends.... Unfortunately, I will not be eligible to give blood again until 5 years of remission. Oh well--I tried!

Thursday Evening Update

2011-05-26T19:54:00.002-04:00

It's 8PM and I am still in the hospital so it seems highly unlikely I will be discharged tonight. We'd like to go home, but I did have two light contractions earlier this evening so a bit more time under observation can't hurt.

The pessary was placed...installed...whatever the correct term is, earlier today. It was completely painless, but it may have been the cause of the contractions. Hopefully it will start to work it's non-FDA approved magic right away.

That's all for now.

Thursday morning update

2011-05-26T09:29:00.002-04:00

Still in the hospital, but it looks like the doctor will place a pessary sometime today. This will sort of prop the baby up a little, reducing the likelihood that A's body will decide to go into preterm labor. After that, we will probably go home for bed rest until October.

Wednesday afternoon update

2011-05-25T17:01:00.002-04:00

The good news continues to be measured. A appears to have stopped having contractions. The preliminary results of the amniocentesis show that the baby and womb are still infection free. This means that the doctors are willing to go forward with a procedure to try and hold the baby in place for.... about 20 more weeks.

Best case scenario continues to be A on bed rest for the remainder of the pregnancy.

Our ongoing concerns:

This procedure is logical and promising, but experimental. Definitely no guarantees.
A's body still needs to "reverse course" considerably. Even with contractions stopped, she's still dangerously close to labor.
For this to work, A will need to endure a lot of long hours at home, alone. Among other needs, hopefully we will figure out a workable telecommuting solution to help fill the time.

With the expectation that A will be stuck in place a lot in the coming weeks, we're going to re-start posting news updates on our old blog.

Oatmeal Buttermilk Pancakes

2009-09-06T08:28:00.002-04:00

I recently made these for a group dinner and received rave reviews.

2 Cups Oats
1/2 Cup Flour
3 T Sugar
1 t Baking Soda
1 t Baking Powder
1/2 t Salt
2 1/2 Cups Buttermilk
2 Eggs
1/4 Cup Butter
1 t Vanilla

Whisk buttermilk, eggs, butter and vanilla in a bowl. Add to dry ingredients. Allow to thicken for at least two hours.

An Evening of Ganpati

2009-08-29T12:12:00.002-04:00

Isaac and I came home to an impressive neighborhood party this evening. The quality of the video clip is weak but it should give you some idea of what the festivities are like.

Ganpati

2009-08-23T23:18:00.003-04:00

Yesterday marked the first day of Ganpati, a twelve day festival very popular in Mumbai. Our neighborhood began preparations weeks in advance so it was fun to see the end result. Unfortunately, we didn't bring our camera to the festivities so I would encourage you to look here.

Today should be interesting as well. Families gather together and bring their idols to the beach where they throw them in the water. The idols range in size from twelve inches to two stories high.

Using the ATM

2009-08-01T14:14:00.002-04:00

I don't stop thinking about it just because I'm off work for the evening. The other day I went to the ATM machine for our bimonthly cash withdrawal. While I was standing there, it occured to me that the max daily withdrawal is more than enough to buy a girl here.

I can't pretend there won't always be people willing to do terrible things to children, but the hope in all this is that I think it's possible to make it too expensive to buy kids. Life doesn't have to be so cheap.

Brothel Tour

2009-07-08T03:05:00.003-04:00

I was recently given the opportunity to tour a brothel. I expected the building to be dark, dirty, and crowded, but I was still overwhelmed when I walked through the door.

The building was five stories high and very narrow. Small rooms lined both sides of the hallways and each room held at least two beds. Cloth curtains were the only separation between beds. Drying laundry hung from the ceilings on every floor.

The scene became more and more depressing as we climbed the extremely steep wooden steps between each floor. Along the way we stopped and talked to a variety of people. A team from another NGO that provided medical care for the girls and a various assortment of prostitutes and madams. We were invited into the room of a pair of sisters so we spoke with them for quite a while (I should clarify, I sat quietly while the rest of the group spoke in Hindi). One of the sisters had been in the brothel for six months and the other had only been there for a month. The sister who had recently arrived said she didn't like it there and was looking for a way out. She wanted to get married and have a normal life. Both sisters agreed to visit the office of the local NGO the following day to discuss their options. A member of our team prayed with the girls and then we left. Unfortunately, I haven't heard if they followed through. (I feel like I should mention that this is not the typical reaction to outsiders. The girls are usually suspicious and nervous about outsiders so I felt pretty privileged to to be there for such a unique conversation.)

Besides meeting the girls, three things about the building stuck out to me. There was a tiny shop (about the size of a typical American coat closet) on the first floor that sold things like tobacco and biscuits, a fruit guy had carried a basket in and was selling his product on the 3rd floor, and I passed the power bill delivery guy on my way out. It looked like each room received a different power bill, I can't imagine how long it takes him to hand out all the bills.

Monsoon!

2009-06-28T14:40:00.002-04:00

I am happy to report that rain has finally come to Mumbai. Besides alleviating the dust and water rationing, the rain is a welcome relief because it had gotten so humid it felt like I was walking around in a cloud. I guess with over 95% humidity, it couldn't get any muggier without rain!

While it's still fairly muggy at the hottest part of the day, I was able to walk around in jeans for over an hour Friday night without melting into a puddle.

We're back to full days with running water at the flat (was never a problem at the office), and we haven't needed the AC to sleep for several nights.

On the downside, I've learned that we may need to iron clothes after washing if we want to avoid mildew...

My First Indian Cooking Lesson

2009-06-20T05:37:00.006-04:00

Lila, a friend from the office, was kind enough to give Stephanie and I a cooking lesson. Overall, the evening was a great success. We made aloo ghobi (cauliflower and potatoes), yellow dahl (lentils), and rotis. We did have one problem with the stove--about halfway through the food preparation flames started shooting out of one of the temperature knobs. Thankfully, we were able to turn the gas off before anything caught on fire.

I'm hoping to replicate the meal on my own in the near feature. Unfortunately, we didn't measure any of the spices so my version will either be too bland or too spicy.

Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment.

8 Traffickers Arrested, 34 Girls Rescued

2009-05-29T00:46:00.003-04:00

Here’s some great news about a police rescue operation that successfully freed 34 victimized girls from sex traffickers just days ago. Below are links to three different accounts of the story. There’s a certain NGO that’s not mentioned in any of these articles, but I’m sure you can figure out what went down.

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CBI busts human trafficking racket, 8 arrested

Busting a major human trafficking racket, the CBI on Wednesday arrested eight persons for allegedly forcing minor girls from far off states and neighbouring countries into flesh trade >>

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Man held for forcing daughter, niece into flesh trade

He was one of eight pimps arrested in a raid that saw the rescue of 34 girls, including eight minors >>

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CBI busts flesh trade racket, 8 arrested

Eight persons have been arrested by the CBI for their alleged involvement in operating a flesh trade racket for the last two years involving at least 34 girls, some of whom were minors >>

Holi

2009-03-13T02:44:00.005-04:00

Our office was closed on Wednesday for the Hindu festival Holi. I joined in the festivities at a friend's flat. It was a great day-definitely different than anything I've experienced before. Here are a few pictures for your enjoyment.

The day concluded with a three on three game of soccer on the roof of a 9 story building. I'm happy to say the ball only went over the side once.

We have visitors!

2009-03-02T10:15:00.000-05:00

Andrea's parents are visiting, and we just got back from Udaipur, in the state of Rajasthan. Here are some teaser photos from our weekend at the old (pre-colonial) guest palace.

Galloping gaily astride the unruly horse of youth...

2009-02-17T07:39:00.004-05:00

Some of the case law that I read feels like relatively generic criminal litigation. Sometimes, I am that I'm in a different world. In a 1991 decision by the High Court of the Indian state of Orissa, the judge berated the parents of a high school girl murdered by her tutor-turned-lover:

The accused may be legally responsible for the heinous and blood-curdling crime. We find that the parents allowed the relationship to blossom...
The family members of the deceased unmindful of the consequences allowed the deceased and the accused to have unguarded togetherness. They had time to soar high in the flights of fancy. ... An imaginative young mind was galloping gaily astride the unruly horse of youth. The consequences were expected, and it is not unnatural that there was emotional upheaval when the insolent parents suddenly woke up from their stupor, and tried to keep the deceased away from the company of the accused. Morally and ethically, therefore, the members of the family are as much responsible for the tragedy as the accused. ....We hope that this case shall be an eye- opener to the insolent parents and families, who in the name of modernity of society, shut their eyes to the realities and consequences.... As stated before, a bright young life has been lost, and the merits and talents of another young person are likely to be wasted. (Ashok Kumar Barik v. Orissa, 1992 Cri. L.J. 1849)

Let that be a lesson to you, insolent parents! How dare you hire a tutor for your merit scholar daughter. The decision goes on to quote an issue of the Pennsylvania Gazette from 1775, the Bible, several classical poets, and a variety of other sources decrying the decay of society.

Who cares what the girl's parents did--this kid hacked/stabbed a high school girl to death because she wouldn't talk to him!! I'm not sure whether it was hacking or stabbing because I don't know the English translation for "Bujili"--the weapon. I must remind myself that judges, lawyers, criminals are not necessarily great measures of a society. Maybe I'm failing to read between the lines and there is some other issue at work that isn't plainly obvious...

On a lighter note, I/we've taken the train down to central/south Mumbai several times in the past few weeks. It was great to get out of the suburban traffic and smog. Andrea and I walked the boardwalk at Chowpatty Beach, found some fun shops, and walked a few miles.

No one wants to see you kiss!

2009-02-11T12:38:00.002-05:00

Despite being birthplace to the Kama Sutra, there are many in modern India who apparently see outward signs of cross-gender physical affection to be obscene and foreign to Indian culture. Young women occasionally get dragged out of bars by so-called morality police. Male friends are very physically affectionate with each other, holding hands, walking arm in arm, etc. The following article details one young married couple's near conviction for "obscenity in a public place." Case for repealing S.294(a) IPC

This really puts a crimp in my Valentine's Day plans...

The New Yorker just ran an interesting article about IJM

2009-01-19T23:10:00.004-05:00

You can find a copy of Samantha Power's article from New Yorker magazine at https://media.scoopreprintsource.com/CondeNast/5376CN_Intn'lJustice_041409.pdf

Let me know what you think of the article, and of the issues covered within. Thanks!

Getting haircuts...

2009-01-18T14:15:00.003-05:00

So I found a barber shop around the corner from our flat. It's very reasonably priced--30 rupees. It's a lot like any other barbershop experience, except that I don't understand 99% of my conversation with the barber. Last week, he asked if I was from England--I said U.S., and he told me he was from U.P.--a small state in the north of India. He also did a lot of talking or whispering to himself. I felt it would be (more) strange to ask the subject of his conversation.....

Of course, he stuttered a bit when he spoke in English, so I wonder if the self-talk was just his way of practicing conversational English?? Any stutterers out there willing to weigh in on this theory?

The barber shop also offers shaves and head massages. I tried the head massage--once. The guy strapped some sort of massaging, vibrating machine onto his hand and then oiled up my hair and went to town on my scalp with his rapidly buzzing, vibrating hand. It was all very pleasant until he JAMMED HIS FINGER INTO MY EAR! Yes...that's right...he apparently thought I might enjoy feeling his fingernail rattle against me ear canal and ear drum at several hundred oscillations per minute. My ear ached for several days, so I really don't recommend that technique.

On an only vaguely related subject, India recently received its own "remake" of the film Memento--titled Ghajini. I watched a friend's DVD copy of very dubious origins, and I can say that the film is absolutely nothing like the original. If I were forced to reduce this...experience into mere words, I would say that the film gives Charlie Kaufman a serious run for his money in the weird movie department. Ghajini is a musical, a revenge action movie, and a love story all rolled discordantly into one. You may ask, how could anyone possibly make that work?? Well, I've learned that the key to making a "romantic action thriller" is to open on an improbable love story starring Bollywood hottie Aamir Khan as a vigilante amnesiac whose entire history (and love story) is being recounted by nosy supporting players thanks to his detailed journals. This is still very weird--after all, you know almost from the very beginning that the female lead is going to get bludgeoned to death. I can't even describe the musical numbers--you just have to see this one for yourself. Apparently Ghajini will be airing in 22 countries with English subtitles. I strongly suggest that you find a time that you will not be taking any decongestants, antihistamines, or prescription painkillers, and sit down with this bizarre film. I can't promise that you'll be glad you watched it, but you'll definitely be entertained!

For folks in the Seattle area, this is apparently showing at Totem Lake Cinemas. Don't miss your chance! Folks in DC will just have to flood their local theaters with petitions, I guess....

What is the vague relationship between Ghajini and my barbershop? Ahmir Khan had a really crappy haircut in Ghajini, and film promoters had clippers outside theaters on opening weekend, offering teenagers the chance to receive a similarly terrible haircut. In his defense, he was supposed to have an enormous scar from being whacked in the head with an iron pipe...

Free Deliveries...

2009-01-18T13:25:00.003-05:00

So, upon reflection, I have decided that my blog posts may leave the impression that I see nothing positive in Mumbai, so I've resolved to highlight a few fun things.

Andrea and I enjoy the fact that almost every business in Mumbai will deliver their product for free. We are currently enjoying membership in Librarywala, an online library (somewhat like Netflix) that charges us about $4/month for 6 books per month. Librarywala delivers them to our door via courier, and often makes the delivery or pickup within one business day of our request. Since we don't own a television, have no English language radio, and the only other way to get books is to buy them for ~$10 each, the library option is desirable.

Our local grocer, butcher, and newsstand deliver their products to our door. The big hypermarket delivered the ~$10 power strip I needed for free, from about an hour away (they also called about 6 times to confirm that the order had been delivered successfully).

I work late pretty regularly, but thankfully, all the local food we often order is delivered to our door for free. An order of chicken tikka masala and rice is delivered to our door for less than cooking our own food at home!

On the downside, there is apparently no structured address system either for Mumbai in general, or perhaps just for this part of town. Instead, our address includes two lines that basically give the postal workers landmarks within our PIN code (zip code). Getting deliveries from outside the neighborhood can get interesting, because I think the folks often end up driving miles of back roads until they spot the name of our housing cooperative. They arrive to our door sweaty and apologetic, having raced up 6 flights of stairs.

I need to figure out whether the older section of the town also lacks addresses.
GPS would really be handy here!

IJM's Global Prayer Gathering

2009-01-08T23:49:00.003-05:00

The 2009 Global Prayer Gathering will be held March 27th-29th in the DC area. I'd like to encourage anyone who is able to attend. Isaac and I were able to go the past two years and it was a meaningful experience both times. The schedule generally includes time for large group presentations and worship as well as breakout prayer times for each field office.

Visit http://www.ijm.org/gpg for more information.

Air raid sirens, cheese, and coconuts...

2009-01-02T14:35:00.000-05:00

So the past few weeks have been hectic for us--but good. Though I spent most of the holiday break miserably sick with a head cold or sinus infection, we still enjoyed a relaxing time away from the city.

This place has it's "upsides", but I don't think any of them are environmental. The weather reports often just say "smoke" or "smog" where they might say "sunny" or "cloudy" anywhere else. If I spend any length of time outdoors, my skin will be dirty enough that I can wipe my skin with a rag and leave a smudge on the rag. If I breath through a bandanna or handkerchief on the ride to work, later I can see dirt colored rings on the cloth the size of my nostrils. In the first few weeks I was here, a coworker and I both realized that we occasionally perked up at the smell of cigarette smoke. Neither of us have ever smoked, but concluded that, compared to the road pollution, cigarette smoke sometimes seems like a fresh, yet faintly familiar, aroma.

Sometimes if I'm out in the city for more than an hour or so, I start to feel a stinging or burning sensation in my chest. It's not hard to imagine why auto rickshaw drivers apparently don't last very long here in the city before they have to return home to their families in the North. Thankfully we have a HEPA air filter in our bedroom.

Of course picking up smoking is not the only option for an odoriferous reminder of home. I can't get my normal hair paste/gel stuff here, so I decided to try a more local alternative--a pure coconut oil. It actually works pretty well--and as a perk, I'm reminded of homemade cookies every morning as I style my hair.

So I've covered smells.... How about sounds? The other night, I was jarred to attention by air raid sirens. I'm not sure I've ever heard this kind of siren except in movies set in WWII England. We don't have a TV, so I had no easy way to check for any breaking news. In the end I wasn't able to confirm the reason for the sirens, but I am fairly sure they had something to do with rehearsing citywide blackouts as part of the current standoff with Pakistan.

Apparently the Pakistani government is basically denying that the terror attacks in Mumbai were at all linked to Pakistan--even though there is fairly strong evidence of the link. Troops are amassing at the border, fighter jets are flying more aggressive surveillance routes, bunkers are being added, and citwide blackouts are planned. Apparently, Pakistan has also threatened to use nukes if India retaliates directly against the Pakistan-hosted terror network LeT. Since we live very near the domestic and international airports and a military base, I assume that any anti-air defense stuff is probably rehearsed in our area.

Those of you who know Andrea well will not be surprised to know that she slept through the whole thing. I asked Indian coworkers about the India-Pakistan hostilities and they seemed to feel this was just another in a long series of yelling matches that never amount to anything, so I guess we shouldn't get to worked up about it...

On the taste front, I am happy to report that I finally have a reliable source for a few basic cheeses! There's just only so much you can fake with the same blocks of processed cheese, so I was getting desperate for Parmesan cheese for pasta, some cheddar for sandwiches and Mexican food, and maybe some Blue cheese to put some kick into baked dishes and salads. Our local grocer was eager to please as best as he could, and managed to import a bunch of cheddar for us expatriate folk. Considering that he runs a bustling grocery out of a storefront smaller than my D.C. living room, that's a nice gesture. For the other cheeses, I finally noticed that one of the fancy "hypermarkets" that we occasionally swing past on the way back south after church has a little (import) cheese counter off in a corner. I bought Blue and Parmesan in tiny little 200 gram chunks and I'm nibbling away at it to savor every Rupees worth!

As for interesting sights from the past few days.... Apparently there's a New Year's tradition here to torch dummies of old men. The burning old men symbolize passing of the old year. From the rooftop of friends' building where we watched New Year fireworks, we could also see two different groups of neighbors setting fire to their straw dummies. One group first took pictures with their dummy, then lit the straw on fire. The other group used blackcats and M80s to blow up their old man. I can't say it's a tradition I'll be bringing home with me--I think I prefer embracing the "new life" of a New Year than the ritual slaughter of the old year. However, if I had to put one year of my life out of its misery, it might be 2008.

Andrea and I agree that this year has included some of the best and worst times of our lives. Here's to a better 2009!

Advent

2008-12-15T06:51:00.003-05:00

During the month of December I’ve used my daily stillness time to read scripture relating to Advent. Today, I also read a poem by Elizabeth Jennings. I really appreciated the message so I decided to pass it along. Enjoy.

Carol for 2000

Put memory away. Today is new.
Carols and bells ring out and take the year
Into their power. They cast out pain and fear
For everyone and you.

Put memory away. Soft sounds are rocking
A newborn child laid in a cradle made
For animals to eat from. Grace is said.
A child puts out a stocking.

Put memory away and watch a world
Grown almost still because a baby can
Convince us he is born of God and man.
The world’s no longer old.

Put memory away. Tonight is Now.
And new as children’s hopes and old men’s eyes
Soon Kings will come and they are rich and wise
But to a child will bow.

Put memory away and have no fear.
A star is shining on a joyful sight.
A young girl’s Child is born to us tonight
And casts out pain and war.

Any techies want to help stop human trafficking?

2008-12-05T02:34:00.004-05:00

I'd like to implement a promising new application here at the office, but would first need to finish a a small(ish) amount of JavaScript and XML coding. In my first week here I found the time to make marvelous headway with the effort, but now I'm just too swamped to complete the work. Since I am *not* a programmer and hadn't really touched code in several years, that tells you a bit about the relative difficulty of the project. I think 15 hours probably got me from "I wonder if this is even possible?", past "Why is there so little documentation?", to "Hey, I think this is going to work!"

If you're remotely interested, here's more info:
What is the project? Petitions to courts and all other legal writing has to scrupulously cite to legal precedents and authorities (LOTS of footnotes). Zotero is a free research tool (Firefox/Office plugin combination) that would allow us to semi-automatically import accurate citations and electronic copies of cases into one database.

So....who cares? Those of you who have published in professional or academic journals probably get the general sense of how much time is spent formatting, checking, and re-checking citations. However, unless you're a legal writer, you probably can't truly appreciate just how much time is *wasted* with the immensely complex citation rules promulgated by law journal editors. If we can implement this research tool, it will cut several steps out of every research project, increase our accuracy, cut down on language barrier issues, and generally save hundreds of hours per year.

What do I need? If you can get a computer with Internet access, Firefox, and Microsoft Word, then the remaining files can be downloaded quite easily. Basically, the code I've already written identifies the data necessary for citation, and plugs (most of) it into the appropriate places in the database. The remaining pieces to plug in will just save a copy of the case into the database, and then duplicate my code for the 2nd of our two online legal resources here.

I'm not holding my breath for help on this, but if you're at all willing and able, then please drop me a line! You need not be a lawyer type...

Feeling underwhelmed by the US Consulate...

2008-12-02T21:08:00.001-05:00

So in the aftermath of the attacks, there is an understandable swell of anger from the populace and a common desire to hold accountable any responsible officials. Personally, I have been a little curious about the U.S. Consulate here in the city. I don't know what marching orders they receive from the State Department, but I do know that they ask all U.S. citizens to register online with them so that they can keep us informed and otherwise look after us. Nice idea, ehh?

However, when we first arrived in the city, I was jokingly warned not to expect much in the way of information. For example, apparently every year, they send out the same generic warning for all Indian holidays warning people to be cautious while in "public places." Public places? This is a city of 18 million people. You can't spit without hitting someone. The trains are so crowded that sometimes people climb ON TOP and ride on the roof. When I opened my 4th floor windows this morning, I dislodged several kinds of birds just trying to get some peace on the bars outside the window. Even the birds can't find a minute alone. During the monsoon season, the city will flood, and then only days later when the waters recede and everyone's already going back to work, the consulate sends out a warning email.

Anyway--the consulate. There was automatic gunfire at two of the most tourist-popular hotels in the city, and at the most popular tourist hangout in the city, well before midnight on November 26. A taxi blew up outside the domestic airport during the night as well. A good friend of ours first notified me of the attack because she saw it, in the US, before 1AM our time. The local and national TV news here was also covering the attacks. At 2:07PM the next day, I received an email from the consulate warning of terrorist attacks in the city. The email was so generic, I suspect it was probably sent to everyone supposed to be anywhere near the country. I suspect that the email was generic because it suggested that people call a (US only) 1-800 number if they needed help, or call a DC-area toll number if outside the US. At the bottom it gave a local number for the consulate.

Now I didn't *need* the help of the consulate, but other Americans could have benefited greatly. Moreover, I found myself jealous of other expats. I learned that an Australian friend had been personally called with a warning of the attacks and then also called to determine whether he wanted to be repatriated home to Australia. All of this before I even got the generic warning. The British got similar treatment. In fact, days later, while out shopping, Andrea and I were stopped by another foreigner on the street and asked if were were British. We cautiously answered no, and then she explained that she worked for the British consulate and was personally responsible for following up with a list of nationals to make sure they were all OK and that everyone had notified their family back home. Since she saw us on the street, she thought it was worth checking to make sure we had been thoughtful enough to tell our parents we were OK. Pretty wild, ehh? I've heard through news accounts that France, Spain, and other nations sent planes to collect their citizens.

Now it's not that I think we should be babysat by our government everywhere we go, but I think a "Hey, there are people in the city who would like to kill you" isn't asking for much. It seems like maybe the staff works a 9-5 and that's all? Maybe they're understaffed? Maybe they can't do anything without approval from the top? What I do know is that our newspaper delivery guy has a Blackberry, as do practically everyone else trying to feel important in this city. Would it have taken more than one consular official at home in a bathrobe in front of the TV to shoot off a warning email during the night?

If that weren't lame enough, today's front page, top-of-the-fold Times of India article details how U.S. intelligence twice warned India in October that Mumbai was facing possible attack (specifically to its hotels and tourist destinations) coming by sea. I find it even more frustrating that even after the top secret-keepers had decided that the news could be shared with Indian officials, they either didn't see fit to warn their own local consulate or the consulate didn't see fit to warn its citizens. I mean, if they think I need to hide indoors for a month because it's the fireworks season of Dhivali, you'd think a terror strike would warrant instructions on where to purchase my duct tape, plastic garbage bags, gas masks, and whatever else we're supposed to have in our survival kits. Is it too soon and too assuming to say "Thanks for nothing, U.S. State Department"?

You tell me, I think I lack perspective on the issue.

We were not anywhere near the terrorist attacks!

2008-11-26T14:23:00.002-05:00

I won't try to be flip or cute with my titles, like usual. I just learned that Mumbai has just been the scene of coordinated terrorist attacks this evening. MSNBC reports that two gorgeous hotels were/are held siege, and several other places were attacked as well, including one of my favorite restaurants here in the city.

That said, neither Andrea nor I were out partying this evening. We were home before 10pm. Judging by the area of town, I'm guessing that most of my coworkers were also out of harm's way.

It's 1am, and I'm going in to work tomorrow to try and wrap some things up before taking a Thanksgiving holiday, so I will post more later--I just wanted to let people know that we were miles from any danger. Anyone worried about my fellow interns/fellows--I saw almost all of them for late dinner this evening, and then they went home to pack before flying out of town in a few hours, so they're safe as well.

More tomorrow!

Living in a foreign country is a humbling experience

2008-11-19T07:29:00.004-05:00

I am embarrassed to say that after three weeks in the office, I just learned how to flush the toilet today. (This is not to say that I didn't flush before, I just used the more traditional method which involves a bucket of water and a large cup.) I looked everywhere for the flush handle on my first day in the office but I couldn't find one. Plus, there was no water tank so I assumed the bucket was my only option. But over the last week or so, I happened to notice a loud flushing sound when others used the bathroom. I finally asked my coworker. She laughed a bit and then explained that I needed to look up--there is a small pull chain that comes out of a hole in the ceiling. Who knew?

Great News!

2008-11-18T03:18:00.002-05:00

Isaac passed the bar! And he scored high enough to be admitted (after a lengthy application process) into the DC bar.

Thank you to everyone who has been praying for him!

We've Moved

2008-10-31T06:05:00.002-04:00

After months of preparation, and four days of absolute chaos, we are finally in India. I am happy to report, that while the move took longer than expected we were able to finish all of our home improvement projects. We couldn't have done it without our DC friends--they provided boxes, helped us pack, cleaned, loaned cars, stored our extra boxes, and provided us with delicious meals. Two families were forced to stay up late waiting for us to finish Sunday night--we will definitely owe them when we return to the US.

Our flights were quite uneventful. Everything was on time and our seats were comfortable--we even enjoyed bulkhead seats on the second leg. All four checked bags arrived with minimal damage. We were met at the airport by two interns we had befriended during our training week in DC. They drove us back to our flat and gave us a brief overview of the unit. Some of the oddities include electrical panels with more than six switches--there are at least three of these in our one bedroom unit, lights that only work when you flip the switch just so, and a very fancy water filter that signals its readiness with a lovely beeping noise.

The next day an intern gave us a great tour of the area. We visited the office, found the local cash machine, grocery store, and restaurant. We also visited a nearby shopping area called Bandra and a portion of the nearest beach called the Bandstand. We finished off the day with dinner at a deli in the Hyatt.

Now we are off to find the post office--wish us luck. Few streets are labeled and many look quite similar to us at the moment.

(Isaac edit:) Andrea neglected to mention that our arrival into Mumbai was somewhat exciting due to the current India holiday. It involves everyone shooting off really big fireworks, so there were big explosions going off all around the airplane... I suspect that this may be part of why the pilot announced "20 minutes 'till landing," then 3 minutes later "10 minutes" and then were almost immediately on the ground. It was a very abrupt landing. Thankfully, there were firework light plumes on many of fireworks, and the guy next to us was Indian, so we weren't completely at a loss as to why Mumbai wanted to shoot down a British Airways flight.

Trying not to be angry at everyone...

2008-08-28T23:48:00.003-04:00

Our grief counselor agrees that I need to vent my grief/anger with people other than Andrea--lucky you! Because of all this mess, we can't leave for India on schedule. Even if we had wanted to, emotionally, we had already canceled leasing arrangements for our home in DC and had a lot of other things piled up from the time spent in the hospital.

Our tickets were on the same flights, but since we cashed in my frequent flyer miles on Alaska Airlines for my ticket, that ticket had to be rescheduled through Alaska Airlines. I'd be surprised if the call took more than 20 minutes, including hold time. I explained the circumstances, the person offered her condolences, and it was done. We have to pay the difference in taxes, but that actually gets us a credit.

Andrea's ticket, ordered directly through British Airways, is still not a completed change. Have you ever cried through calls to a phone company? Maybe Comcast? Imagine that, but worse. First off, the first woman told me that they would need a copy of Jacob's death certificate we could get the $200 fee waived. This is pretty annoying since Maryland won't issue one for some time, but this alone would have been tolerable. There probably are jerks out there who would lie about something like this to save some money. But it didn't stop there. I'll cut out 5 or 6 of the people who promised things or lied and said they'd made changes to tell you that as of now, a manager in Customer Relations still apparently can't make changes to our ticket until she sees proof of death because otherwise the fee might end up coming out of her pocket. On and off, we spent hours on the phone with BA reps today, and we have nothing to show for it but a bigger cell phone bill. The manager even tried to explain away this mess by saying that Andrea hadn't mentioned to anyone in the latest round of calls that she was changing the ticket due to a death in the family. After Andrea had been ground down, I took the next marathon lap, pointing out that we had already been told that our reason for changing the flight was a moot issue until they received the proof, after changing the ticket and charging us.

But like I said, the manager's fear that she might be billed for the lost fees was too overwhelming for this manager. I pity those people who work for British Airways, as well as citizens of Great Britain unlucky enough to be represented by the airline bearing their nation's name. Right now, I'd rather fly Russia's Aeroflot than ever book a flight with British Airways. If I never again have to deal with such callous and stupid bureaucratic nonsense, it will be too soon.

I'm faxing her the only "proof" I have. A body release form, a hospital discharge form. The funeral home and cremation credit card receipts. Maybe I should send her copies of his footprints as well--that's about all else I've got.

I think I'd even rather talk to Comcast. Wow.

We're still here

2008-08-20T19:01:00.001-04:00

Taking a few days off...

2008-08-18T09:54:00.002-04:00

Just FYI for those waiting to hear more from us, we're okay, but spending a few days out of town. We'll probably be back around Wednesday evening or so.

I am no longer a dad.

2008-08-16T03:27:00.005-04:00

Our son was born tonight. We're still not sure why, but Andrea experienced contractions and there was no way to stop them. I'll try to give more information sometime tomorrow.

Headed to Johns Hopkins

2008-08-15T10:13:00.002-04:00

I got us an appointment for Tuesday afternoon at Johns Hopkins in Baltimore. They're apparently much more experienced with some experimental procedures. I'm also going to try and get a consult with a perinatologist here. Andrea's OB recommended one guy in particular here on site, so we'll give him a try. I'm going to drop the "A" vs. "Andrea" stuff--it's too much work to remember.

Thanks for the prayers everyone!

Censorship!!

2008-08-15T09:55:00.004-04:00

So one of you already obliged with a recommended Onion article. Only problem is that the hospital's wifi connection restricts The Onion based on proxy filters for "Humor/Comics;Profanity". I, for one, am shocked and dismayed to learn that The Onion has been found to be both humorous and profane. I guess I'll have to get my news from Fox. They're not funny at all.

Getting tough, getting experimental

2008-08-15T01:25:00.006-04:00

I've tried several tacts with several doctors, and it's becoming clear that they don't know much/anything about the experimental procedures such as amnioinfusion and amniopatch. I don't want to put our hopes in someone who seems to know less about a potential treatment option than I've learned from hours of Google-led reading and research. In fairness, these doctors are Obstetricians, so their specialty is delivering lots and lots of babies--not coming up with freaky-cool ways to save tiny unborn babies. That's perinatalogy. They are great OB doctors, and I'd definitely be happy to have any of them deliver this or a future baby, but maybe not have them be our perinatal treatment gurus. You could fit my knowledge of both specialties on the back of a Wheaties box and my experience in a thimble, so I hope to soon find someone else to rely on!

One experimental treatment strategy would be to inject fluid into A's uterus weekly with a 12" needle. The risk is similar to getting repeated amniocentesis tests--normally dangerous for potentially causing a rupture of the amniotic membrane. Since that milk has spilled, I think the other risks are the only really relevant ones--such as infection. I hate needles, so absolutely everything about the technique gives me the willies. However, A is tough, she's had worse needle-type procedures that involved running with large gauge needles in her leg muscles. If anyone can endure this, she can. A stranger has submitted some advice here on the blog, and I intend to take it. I'll be contacting people in Baltimore and Florida as soon as their offices open (~6 hours). I guess I'd better make this brief if I'm going to be clear headed enough to "play doctor" in the morning.

A's emotionally exhausted from riding this emotional roller coaster, and from hearing all the nightmare scenarios, such as the prediction that she'll be consigned to "traditional" Cesarean sections for all future babies. As such, I'm basically in charge of finding answers. And trying to make A smile. I'm running out of jokes. Send jokes.

Still no amniotic fluid

2008-08-14T12:55:00.001-04:00

A's sonogram showed no measurable increase in fluid, so I think today's looking like another downer.

Where do you fall on the "bad stuff to good people" debate?

2008-08-14T02:04:00.003-04:00

Note: For our friends who don't believe in God, obviously you're not obligated to comment on the motives of a Maker you don't believe in.

So I've had lots of time this week to ponder the debate over whether God working "all things together for good" means that he turns even the crappiest circumstances into something unexpectedly amazing, or whether it means that he actually creates those crappy circumstances. It's late, so I'll write more of my thoughts on this later, but I'm curious to learn about the opinions of people I respect. What do you think?

I've heard the analogy that in many situations, we're so temporally finite that we get ourselves into situations like a raccoon with it's paw in a trap. Apparently they reach in for a shiny bauble but become "trapped" because they're too fixated on the bauble to let go so that their hand can again be small enough to get out of the trap. This is all fine and well for situations of my own making, for when I get in over my head--but that doesn't really apply to a PPROM.

I am sure of one thing--I taste bile every time someone tells me in a reassuring tone that "God has a plan." I know I'm supposed to presume (as I do--almost all days) that God is compassionate. I also gather that I'm therefore to assume that any plan He's got will be nice--but that's a lot of assuming. Let me be honest--my grief and pain are self-centered--I don't really care that much right now about whether my life story will be really inspiring to others in 10 years because of this. In short: God's compassion may not jive well with my desires. For example, if God's compassion rescues a suffering person from the world who just happens to be someone I love very much, there's no relief in being told that I should just trust that God had a good reason for it. Knowing that God's smarter than me doesn't mean a) that I get it or b) that the God's "big plan" is specifically great for me, personally.

So if you want me to love your commentary, find some sneaky way to rephrase "Don't worry, God has a plan." Eating more leafy produce may be good for my health, but I still don't like that tangy purple lettuce. Telling me the lettuce is good for me doesn't make me feel better, it's just kind of annoying.

Lesson 3: Don't play the odds

2008-08-14T00:52:00.006-04:00

(Andrea told me I'm being way too depressing, so I've tried to find the upsides to this experience. Sorry, that was supposed to be dry wit. Actually, I've tried to highlight an answer to our prayers, so try to survive through the "way too depressing" parts. I apologize if this is all too lengthy, but I can't help it--I've got so much on my mind...)

If you're stupid enough to play in traffic, there's really no point in paying attention to statistics. I mean--I haven't looked into it, but I can't imagine that using probability to increase your long-term success is really going to help much.

If the "traffic" you're "playing" in is something you have no choice about, you may still be better off ignoring the statistics. A credible sounding website (emedicine.com - they must be legit to have scored such a generic domain name, right?) had some very un-encouraging assessments for me on the topic of "Premature Preterm Rupture of Membrane" (PPROM):

The major morbidity in the fetus with midtrimester ROM is lethal pulmonary hypoplasia from prolonged, severe, early oligohydramnios. (lack of amniotic fluid)
. . . approximately 50% of all remaining pregnancies deliver each subsequent week after PPROM (Mercer, 2005).
When PPROM occurs prior to 20 weeks' gestation, the probability of reaching
viability is less than 5% and the risk of pulmonary hypoplasia due to oligohydramnios and underdevelopment of alveolar structures and the tracheobronchial tree is present.
The risk of infection increases with the duration of PPROM.
Midtrimester (13-26 wk) PPROM has a dismal prognosis.
Expectant management may be appropriate in select patients who are well informed
and educated about the risks and the dismal prognosis for the neonate. (I'm not sure, but in context, I think this is code for "If the parents understand that their baby has a tinker's chance in.... and still want to fight for the baby's survival, you could work with that.)
Survival varies with gestational age at diagnosis (from 12% when diagnosed at 16-19 wk, to as much as 60% when diagnosed at 25-26 wk). Until viability, maternal safety should be the primary concern.

It should be obvious that for me, for us, reading this kind of stuff is...not...encouraging. I appreciate that some doctor out there is doing straightforward analysis, since it sometimes seems like Ob-Gyn is some kind of dark art. I have wondered though if there was a way to warn me that "the following article is going to be incredibly discouraging."

The article's author, Dr. Allahyar Jazayeri, has summed up the type of depressing stuff we were dealing with yesterday with such phrases as "dismal prognosis." After reading about this stuff, I asked A what she thought about the idea of imposing her own media-blackout on Internet research. It can put you through an emotional wringer, and I'm not sure how that helps. It definitely gets to us, and I think probably more for her, perhaps due to that extra twinge of personal sense of guilt/responsibility that can come for moms even when complications are just some physiological fluke.

This morning (I guess it was yesterday morning), we prayed that, in addition to protection for A and the baby, we could get some encouragement from new sources, because we definitely can't rely on doctors. Shortly thereafter, I headed out of the hospital to run an errand in the city, but first met a nice woman in the hospital elevator. I asked how long she was in for, she asked why I was at the hospital, and when she learned about A's "PPROM", she told me that she lost all the amniotic fluid protecting one of her twin boys at ~20 weeks. She was on bed rest for quite a while. One twin initially struggled for a while with a Respiratory Distress Syndrome immediately after delivery, but now she has two very healthy 11 year old twin boys. I know that her "success story" is statistically anomalous, but it was very encouraging to me--an answer to prayer!

In light of this, we're trying for as specific of prayers as possible, so my top prayer for today is that the torn inner and outer membranes heal, allowing a re-accumulation of amniotic fluid.

Additionally, I read about an artificial amniotic fluid that has been used to replaced lost fluid in less than 100 cases.

I've also had the strong sense that the fact that our baby has not yet reached the age of viability is a big mental barrier for the doctors. I had a gut impression before reading Dr. Jazayeri's piece, and felt like it was confirmed in the article. For example, it doesn't *seem* (from the stuff I've read) that the steroid shot they give after 24 weeks to accelerate fetal lung maturity is started at 24 weeks because that's a special stage of lung development, but only because they don't really focus much on the baby until after the mystical "viability" curtain drops. I hope I'm wrong, because this seems like a foolish way to think. "Viability" just means ability to survive outside the womb, which isn't particularly more relevant to the administration of a lung aid than some point at which a child become "viable" enough to care for him or herself, or some point at which the kid finally moves out of the house and starts paying bills.

I can't figure out if I'm venting about abortion or not--it kind of seems to indirectly come back to that issue. Even sweeping aside the weighty questions of the "rightness" or "wrongness" of abortion in general, or specific abortions, or all that junk, for the purpose of discussion, I see the age of viability treated like a magical point at which my kid becomes worth saving. A's legal right to terminate the baby at 20 weeks shouldn't mean that not seizing that legal right puts us in some sort of crappy limbo where the medical community waits for viability to pass so they can begin treating the baby with a level of importance comparable to their primary patient--A. I understand why, for some of the other treatment options used later in 3rd trimester, they would wait for viability--since several of them could induce labor. But from my understanding of Dr. Jazayeri's article, corticosteroid treatment (for example) is a shot given to A, without any risk of causing contractions.

Again, I don't know what I'm talking about--this is all armchair medicine, speculation, and gut impressions, but just because I'm paranoid doesn't mean I'm wrong. I've always been a little paranoid, and....well...sometimes I get it right.

Anyway, let me try to find an upnote for conclusion.... OK, according to this article, A's already beat the odds by making it nearly one week without going into labor.

"The vast majority of women proceed to active labor and deliver soon after
PPROM. With appropriate therapy and conservative management, approximately 50% of all remaining pregnancies deliver each subsequent week after PPROM. Thus, very few women remain pregnant more than 3-4 weeks after PPROM."

PPROM apparently occurs in 3% of pregnancies--so we're "special" in that way. On the upside, we've already outlasted the "vast majority" of women, and probably enter an even smaller pool after Friday rolls around and the baby is still alive, well, and in the womb. I still say statistics suck when you're stuck with bad ones, but I'll still choose to take heart in the fact that A's endurance has already been miraculous. We're praying for at least 7 more weeks of this.

Lesson 2: You can't reason with an oncoming bus

2008-08-12T01:04:00.003-04:00

Despite my best efforts, it is really hard to stop the creeping onslaught of fear and other negative emotions by reasoning them away. Averaging 4.5 hours per day of phone calls, plus several visits, each day with friends and family, we have much wonderful encouragement. But oncoming traffic just keeps....coming. Today I think I unsuccessfully tried to stave off A's fears with encouragement based on reason. Unfortunately, it's just not that reassuring to know that today really is no worse than yesterday, and that tomorrow might be more of the same...

With A's parents here in DC, her dad and I tried to finish up some projects around the house that will need to be done no matter what happens here at the hospital. I had hoped that knowing that A had her mom with her would allow me to feel OK being away from the hospital for the day. It didn't really help.

As seems par for the course, the prescribed Monday sonogram apparently didn't get on the schedule until A's second or third request for a status report, so she didn't get in until the end of the day. The baby's heartbeat is still strong, but there is no sign that amniotic fluid is being replenished. We've had almost no clear conversations with any doctors on this point, but apparently a lack of amniotic fluid will prevent continued lung development. It's apparently hard to say when "enough" lung development has occurred, but since a baby can't really survive at only 20 weeks....it's hard to believe that this would be "enough" lung development.

Along with her parents, we had a visit from friends today, and also a beautiful bouquet of flowers. These things definitely help brighten the day--but then the night comes. I can't say that I know our baby will survive--I'm not very good at lying to A. For most things in life, my inflated self-confidence rubs off on A at least a little. This week, however, I think we are like little tugboats, alternately pulling each other in opposing directions, and I think her fear maybe got to me more today than any day so far.

At least A's dad and I got three 4" diameter holes plastered, along with a few other odds and ends. One way or another, A will be coming home from the hospital, and about the only thing I can do is make that homecoming a relaxing view, not savagely depressing.

Lesson 1: You can't "plan ahead" in the sport of traffic dodging

2008-08-10T01:01:00.005-04:00

Today I was really struck by how utterly exhausted we are, and how little ability we have to plan more than a few moments ahead. Plane tickets will need to be rescheduled, but what dates? Thankfully we hadn't actually leased our place yet. I don't know where we'll be tomorrow, much less January.

Introduction: Dodging traffic, literally and metaphorically

2008-08-07T01:45:00.003-04:00

A's water broke this morning at 6:30 AM. She woke me up, we both stumbled around the house being terrified, and eventually I got pants and drove her to the hospital. We were at the ER no later than 7:30 AM, having called her OB doctor in advance. The ER and Labor & Delivery people couldn't decide who would take us for a while, but we eventually were settled into a room in the ER. We repeated ourselves 10 or 20 times to skeptical nurses and maybe two doctors, and but ~1:30 PM we were upstairs in High Risk Perinatal, but we still didn't know if the baby was still alive.

Finally, by about 3:30PM, we got a sonogram. When I saw the baby moving, saw the heart beating, and heard the steady beat, I broke down sobbing. I would have mortgaged the house to have had someone check for a heartbeat that morning!

The sonogram showed the baby with healthy and stable heartbeat, very little amniotic fluid, but otherwise healthy. A doctor tells us that, this earlier in the pregnancy, our baby's only chance at surviving is if A stays on bed rest for weeks more. Two months would bring the baby to 28 weeks, which would be a fighting chance. A now has the "simple" tasks of lying still for months, and avoiding any infection that could spur early labor.